#take that hypochondriacism
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9, 23 and 25 for the edgy/misc. oc ask game? :3
HI HELLO CHARLIE :DDD!!!!!
Thanks for sending these innn :)))))
9. I have a whole playlists of songs I associate with Bluebelle, it’s a bit of a curse at this point. The song I associate most with her is probably “A Dangerous Thing” by Aurora, but the lyric in question is from “If I Told You Once” by Circus Contraption Band:
“One time begat twice, then third time’s a charm/Disregarded all obvious signs of alarm/Skin milky white as you lie in repose/Tattered dress stained, from the blood I suppose/So hollow and vacant, devoid of all life/Your epitaph written on our wedding night/As your muscles were twitching in their final plea/Hope you were thinking of me/Hope you were thinking of me”
Very very edgy, I know, but I adore this song and this band, and if you’re not reading past surface level in the song, it’s VERY Bluebeard coded, and that means ofc I associate it with Bluebelle :)))
23. I think the emotion most difficult for Bluebelle to process is acceptance? The notion of joining the rest of the jellicles and being a part of a community is unthinkable to her. She doesn’t consider it a reality, so she pretty much tunes out any conversation relating to it.
Process/Expressing panic is also very difficult for her, as seen with the music box. She runs, and she never speaks about it again, (not yet at least). That part of her brain completely shuts down.
Expressing positive emotions is pretty hard for her, but she’s definitely working on that one, mostly because she wants to let her friends know she loves them <33
25. HER BRAIDS!!!!!! They’re my favorite thing in the world, along with her color scheme….shes so magical….
I never want to shut up about her backstory as well, I’d yap about it forever if i wasn’t worried about being annoying lmao but…it’s Bluebeard…….its my favorite in the world…
The movie was a huge inspiration for it, and I adore the movie, so i adore the backstory
Anyhow Bluebelle is so very special to me but I should probably do more paintings of the actual cast instead of vaguely posting about a story that I’ll never write/illustrate….however comma she’s special forever and I’ll always answer asks about her even if they take a million years
#asks!!!!!!!#also guys you’ll never guess what turned rib syndrome is#it turns….your ribs….#so my lungs ARENT collapsing and my heart IS NOT failing#I’m just being jared hopworthed apparently#take that hypochondriacism#okay apparently it’s called slipping rib syndrome#but I like my name better so I win#ANYHOW thank youuuuuuu i love answering askssss#I’m a yapper at heart I’m working on it I promise#also I’m very tired that is definitely an element#school LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!#clawing at the walls#cats the musical#cats oc#cats musical#jellicle oc
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I love bothering characters when they’re at their computer(s), it’s fun.
Bonus of me making fun of Elliot while half asleep (ignore how horrid I sound):
#stray game#stray 2022#clementine stray#elliot stray#digital photography#video games#i love them#my favourite girlboss#and my favorite hypochondriac#how’s that poncho treating you bitch /q#ramblings#shitpost#i enjoyed myself#taking these screenshots
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me: man these last few weeks have been rough but i'm better enough to go to class again, don't really want to though i'm so exhausted still :/
my body: ahaha i got you monarch :P (cue another er visit)
#i would have preferred class to this let me tell you#romeo's wretched rambles#i'm relatively ok dw. might have been a hypochondriac moment but didn't want to take a risk with severe stomach pain and my fucking liver
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my partner's family is 100% how i'm going to get covid
#i'm immunocompromised and i swear some people think that means hypochondriac who worries too much#her brother and his wife have covid. he tested positive on tuesday morning. on tuesday afternoon her parents saw the wife.#my partner wanted to see them this weekend and asked if they've seen her brother since he got sick and they said no.#it did not occur to ppl that the person who SLEEPS NEXT TO HIM and then TESTED POSITIVE a couple days ago was also included in that#on top of that her dad asked to hang out indoors because he's been feeling sick and didn't feel up to being outdoors...#i love them and it's important to spend time with them but oh my god how did you not put these pieces together#btw all this was revealed over an hour spent indoors eating together like. THEY DID NOT PUT IT TOGETHER#i really hope we don't get infected this round i hate this so much#please don't get me wrong her parents are genuinely a massive blessing in my life and i love them very much and am so so grateful for them#but i'm frustrated how unseriously the entire world is taking this#anyways if we get covid from them and not from my partner's brother's wife's family (half of whom are republicans) it'll be darkly funny#if i die from covid i'm haunting all of you btw for NOT FUCKING MASKING
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-n- okay yeah so arin made me some noodles with too much ginger a while ago and I've never liked ginger but it's like, impossible for me to tell when an aversion is autism and when it's mcas unless I way push it and trigger an obvious mast cell reaction, but those noodles triggered an atypical but fairly unambiguous reaction. so it's like okay guess I can't eat too much ginger. matt keeps making ginger cookies and suggesting that I eat them and I took him up on it this time and he's all "just one cookie will be fine" but no my mouth still hurts like it did with the pumpkin seeds. it's frustrating. at least I didn't like ginger anyway.
#as soon as I said (after eating it) 'idk I don't think I'm allowed to eat these'#he was immediately like 'does it hurt? do you need a benadryl? I'm getting you a benadryl.' so.#it's not that he's not taking it seriously it's just that he sees me push myself all the time#and also hears my own uncertainty about what is or isn't actually a problem for me#also his friend group includes several hypochondriacs of varying degrees#while I'm kinda the first with a really serious illness that isn't also old#so he's very used to having to push people
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when your job has you too panicked to be horny
#i fuckin hate it here sometimes bruh#its not like its a hard job#its just im taking care of a hypochondriac and now its 50 times worse because he has a cold so its being played up like hes dying and im so#scared he will#i know its not that deep but the drama is FRIGHTENING ME
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hello tumblr! life is very bad lately and I haven't been around much. how is everyone
#guys I've been diagnosed with 4-5 new chronic illnesses within the last year your body really does fall apart when you hit 30#ok tbf most of this has been livelong it was just undiagnosed because my parents would be like 'I think you're just a hypochondriac'#'you can't be having those symptoms you're making that up'#fun fact when I needed surgery some years ago I had to beg my dad to take me to the er behind my mom's back bc she insisted I was faking it#alright that's enough yapping
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Be proud of me I actually took a double dose of painkillers before symptoms started to ramp up 💪
#anne speaks#usually im like “time for a reality check! am i a hypochondriac or do i actually suffer? will it be bad or will i have a normal period?”#and then i take One Pill bc im like “it's not that bad and it may not get worse”#and then i Fucking Suffer#this time i decided vehemently against that. im fucking tired. gimme the drugs idc
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maybe I only think [redacted] because I've actually got brain cancer and that's why I've had this consistent headache too. or maybe [redacted] is giving me the headache. or maybe I'm dehydrated and not sleeping or eating enough. really it's impossible to say
#txt#it's not a BAD headache but it's been on and off since sunday#and doesn't seem affected by ibuprofen/acetaminophen#anyways don't take this seriously. i'm not that much of a hypochondriac
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youtube
*reaches out my hand and grabs you* I have the power to subject non vocaloid people to pinop..
TW: for flashing lights
Mushroom mother analysis in my tags. ..
#vocaloid#pinochiop#i saw this video link wasn't posted anywhere on tumblr and thought i should share#(i will be gendering protagonist as 'she' and writer as 'he' for simplicity)#anyway to me in my interpretation the song is written about specific person's reaction to mental illness/neurodivergence.#the fact that mushrooms are growing on heads is a reference to mushrooms only growing in darkness and-#-and is a common anime trope to imply that a character is depressed or a shut in (shimeji situation did this) (also a panel in ohshs)#there is this familiarity between the singer and who she is singing to (presumably the writer) like these are the words of a past lover..#making it feel like the pinop almost HATES the protagonist of this song. that he was called the one with the 'mushroom mother'#but it almost feels like that protagonist does become obsessed a little with the idea of not catching a mental illness from pinop#but then in their obsession of 'not catching it' they start exhibiting like a hypochondriac ocd but for mentalillnesses#the 'your mother is a mushroom mother' to me is a teasing (almost child like) jeer almost felt aimed at pinop/writer.#to imply that.. because his mother gave birth to him she's a mushroom mother. because he is a mushroom (like a yo mama joke)#in my mind the writer is insulting himself here. that the chorus is insulting him in that teasey child's tone#anyway later in the song the protagonist gets more paranoid about others spreading their emotional toxicity to her.#and in her sanitation attempt she winds up hurting other people (implied i think. because of the violence of setting mushrooms on fire)#eventually though I think she stops seeing mental illnesses as a flaw and instead of 100% hating she jumps to 100% loving them#tbh this interpretation is the shakiest part (because why would she put on a mushroom on her head in the end) (what does it mean??)#I think it means that she's embraced being allowed to be publicly mentally ill. and she takes that 'being allowed' as permission to be crue#the protagonist was cruel and toxic even before this transformation#then the writer.. in some perspective thinks about how in retrospect her actions were hollow#the writer surmises that living in that cycle would feel emotionally unfulfilling .. empty.#the writer here is coping with what was done to them in the past.. the person that hurt them enough to write this song#then now that she has those mushrooms growing on her head/is depressed and so the chorus of mushroom mother returns to poke fun at her#and in the end i think the writer joins in in that gloating chorus#The writer feels mixed on celebrating an 'ex' being confirmed as something he was for having#but there is also the celebration of being petty. and the franticness those sort of mixed emotions would give u..#and in the end the writer thinks that in the future that the world will keep changing on it's view on the mentally ill#but because those ending lines are repeated twice i think he's implying that there is a cycle to it#that there is a resignation to the world moving and changing into something else but not getting totally better
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anyone read the secret history lately?
#i impulse bought it on bookswagon and am around the part where they're plotting poisoning bunny#actually i read it online way back and thought it was alright but now it seems less good idk#i just want to hear some takes between “dark academia aesthetique” and “this book sucks+problematic” because that's where i'm at#francis is definitely my favourite love a hypochondriac twink#the secret history
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Me:*actively passing away*
Friend(talking about my funeral):
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trying melatonin for the first time, what's a normal amount of anxious to be
#i can already tell the anxiety-breathing-oh-god-breathing spiral is starting so i finally decided to be brave and take one#will i be able to fall asleep without being jolted awake by my breathing slowing#OR. will i just stop breathing and die? haha just some hypochondriac humor. ha.#currently the nightmare scenario is it doesn't work and i forget i took it in like 2-3 hours and take my anxiety sedative without thinking#SOME of my anxiety is about potential drug interactions with what i take regularly#but i don't gotta look to know that one can't be good lmao#personal#hush me
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#vent#cw vent post#cw vent#cw health#cw medical#cw medication#cw death#death mention#after nearly 2 weeks of unexplained pain and Symptoms and working myself up into the worst panic attack of my life#i finally caved and went to urgent care :)#it’s not lost on me that the same thing happened a little over a year ago. not bc of the same symptoms but it’s the same fear of dying#smthn smthn if i had a nickel smthn smthn weird that it happened twice. i rlly hope this doesn’t become a pattern#i can picture it now. every spring i walk in and they’re like ‘ugh it’s the neurotic hypochondriac with 4 anxiety disorders again 🙄#wonder what they think they’re dying of this time!’#sigh. anyways i’m fine. probably.#the consensus was ‘no you’re Probably not gonna have a stroke and die. you’re just Very stressed and in a lot of pain.’#got diagnosed with Stressed Guy Syndrome so now i take ✨painkillers✨ and ✨muscle relaxers✨ 🙃#they wanted me to take a steroid shot too but that felt like overkill. it’s also a big step for me to be willing to take anything at all#not bc i’m scared of getting a shot in the neck i’m just. scared of medication in general. the side effects. the potential for dependency.#it’s only for a week but i’m still uncomfy with it. but it Is nice to be in less pain. tho i have my doubts that it’ll help long term#time will tell. but i still can’t shake the fear of the tiny chance that it Could be more serious. but it’s not big enough for them to test#for it so. just gotta live with the fear. which in turn is making it hard to relax. which is what i’m supposed to be doing. so.#anyways. i Hope the meds work and i don’t end up back there next week spending More money and seeking more treatment#sighhhh i just can’t catch a break these days. it’s Always Something#at least the electricity and internet are back on after the tornado last week. and at least i’m not in much pain for now. silver linings.#sorry to everyone i’ve unintentionally ghosted but it’s been hard to think through the pain and now the meds are making me eepy#hopefully i’ll recover and recharge my social battery sooner than later. bc i do feel v bad abt it#and it’s So nice to sleep without much pain so i’m. taking advantage of that this week. Seven Try To Relax Challenge 2024
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the doctor gave me medicine i’ve never taken before and i always get so paranoid about it 😭
#i’m a hypochondriac 100000%#i always think something bad is gonna happen to me#whenever i take unfamiliar medicine
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Today I learned that I'm chronically ill and that my whole ass family already knew that. ✌️😭
#I didn't know asthma was a chronic illness ✌️😭#I thought it was just some mid ass thing especially in my case#I kinda assumed it had tiers with ones that were more ❝serious❞ than others#and I thought I'd always be in the ❝mid as fuck low intensity not important❞ category#I saw the lung doctor today and he was like ❝Oh yeah you should enter this program to learn how to live with this chronic illness❞#And I wanted to cry because damn I had just learned I was chronically ill#I wasn't sad I was just like : Wow it is serious and I can get help#For years I thought I was being overdramatic because I had the ❝silly stupid❞ version of asthma#And when it got worse I just thought ❝that's weird. Doctors will only care about it for a month though❞#I thought people wouldn't take me seriously because I didn't take my asthma seriously myself#I thought I could just suck it up & that I was hypochondriac or something#But no I'm actually ill#In a way I'm relieved#Relieved to finally know what's going on & relieved to know I'll get proper help for it#berry rambles
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